Why is looking back important?
(During integrative therapies, we try to understand the root cause of behaviour. But is this really necessary?)
We’ve all heard the phrase: “Just move on.”
Society loves to tell us that the past is in the past and that healing is about letting go and looking forward. And while there’s some truth to that, let’s be real—how can you move forward when something is still pulling you back?
This is exactly why integrative therapies often focus on understanding the root cause of behaviour. But is it really necessary? Can’t we just “fix” the issue without digging up the past? Let’s talk about it.
Does The Past Really Matter?
Short answer? Yes.
Long answer? Your present behaviour didn’t just appear out of nowhere.
🔹 The way you handle stress? That’s learned.
🔹 How you navigate relationships? That comes from past experiences.
🔹 Your coping mechanisms? They were once survival strategies.
Think about it—if someone has a fear of abandonment, chances are, it didn’t just develop overnight. Somewhere along the way, their nervous system learned that love and safety weren’t guaranteed.
Now, as an adult, that same fear might show up as:
⚡ People-pleasing (trying to be “perfect” so no one leaves)
⚡ Pushing people away (rejecting them before they reject you)
⚡ Struggling to trust (waiting for the other shoe to drop)
If we only focus on changing the behavior (“Just trust more!” or “Stop overthinking!”), we ignore the why—and that’s why so many people feel stuck in the same cycles.
Healing the Root vs. Managing the Symptoms
Think of it like this: If a plant is dying, do you just keep trimming the leaves or do you check the roots?
Many traditional therapies focus on managing symptoms:
🔹 Feeling anxious? Try meditation.
🔹 Can’t set boundaries? Practice saying no.
🔹 Overthinking everything? Write affirmations.
These are all great tools, but if we don’t understand the root cause, we’re just trimming leaves instead of fixing what’s underneath.
Integrative therapies—like somatic therapy, inner child work, and trauma-informed approaches—help us go deeper.
They allow us to ask:
🔹 Where did I first learn this pattern?
🔹 What did my younger self need that they never got?
🔹 How can I give myself that safety now, so I don’t need to repeat the old cycle?
But Won’t Looking Back Keep Me Stuck?
Great question. The goal isn’t to stay in the past. It’s to understand it so you can release it.
Many people fear that revisiting old wounds will just bring up pain. But here’s the thing:
💡 The pain is already there. It’s just buried.
If we don’t process it, it shows up in:
⚡ Anxiety
⚡ Self-doubt
⚡ Overworking
⚡ Toxic relationships
⚡ Chronic stress and illness
Looking back doesn’t mean reliving the past. It means making peace with it so it stops running the show.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve to Be Free
You don’t have to stay stuck in cycles that don’t serve you.
Healing isn’t about dwelling on the past. It’s about understanding how it shaped you so you can consciously choose something different.
✨ You are not your trauma.
✨ You are not your past patterns.
✨ You are allowed to heal, grow, and rewrite your story.
So, is looking back necessary? Only if you want to truly move forward.
